Shoulda let her go,
shoulda made her disappear only to return in whatever random fantasy
that I may have… Should have never texted her and let her know she broke my
heart… I always knew that it was coming… Just wished she wouldn't have done it the way she did…4 hours in an airplane and lifetime to think it over.. I tried
to take everyone’s advice.. I deleted all her pictures but couldn't make myself
delete her number… We still send each other pictures and she still stalks me
the way she always has. I still get sick to my stomach every time I see or hear
her name…
I’m not sure she will ever go away. She always seems
to find a way to creep back in my dreams…. I try to put her in a box on a shelf
high up in my mind and she always finds a way to crawl back down..
35…. I
haven’t talked to her since last December…. Haven’t sent her anything since I
turned down her invitation to see her marry a man that I had only met once… Its
her birthday this week and my only real friend sent her a card today. It’s the
first time Ive seen her new name and it brought a twinge to my heart…. Cant for
the life of me figure out why the thought of her still makes me sick to my stomach.
